Still busy writing Wizard of Time #2. I haven’t been able to collect my thoughts for a real blog entry, so I’ve decided to post scene #2 from POP! Culture: The Future of America™.  As before, the full stage play can be read as a pdf here.

 

SCENE: Two

SETTING:             Typical Citizen Home

The Citizen Enters

CITIZEN:               Computer, load the doctor program.

COMPUTER (O.S.): Doctor program running.

CITIZEN:               I need to speak to a psychologist.

COMPUTER (O.S.): I am required to inform you that you have already exceeded the one hour a year time limit for psychiatric consultation allowed by the Health Marketing Operator assigned by your company Inc.com.

CITIZEN:               I’m aware.  Deduct the charges from my account. Just let me speak to the doctor.

COMPUTER (O.S.): Billing will commence immediately, charged by the quarter-minute.

The DOCTOR appears bathed in hot white light.

DOCTOR:             How may I help you Consumer?

CITIZEN:               I’m feeling… I don’t know.

DOCTOR:             Could you clarify that feeling please?

CITIZEN:               Lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t fit in.

DOCTOR:             How do you not fit in?

CITIZEN:               I feel like I don’t belong. Like everyone is living a life that I don’t want to live.

DOCTOR:             And how does this make you feel?

CITIZEN:               Angry.

DOCTOR:             You’re feeling depressed, yes.

CITIZEN:               I’m not depressed, I’m angry.

DOCTOR:             Depression is common among people who don’t consume enough.

CITIZEN:               I’m not depressed.

DOCTOR:             What did you buy today?

CITIZEN:               I didn’t buy anything today.  I skipped my Buying Session™.

DOCTOR:             Research has shown that Purchasing Brings Pleasure™.

CITIZEN:               I don’t want to buy anything.

DOCTOR:             Buying Brings Happiness™.  The More You Buy, the more Happiness You Buy™.

CITIZEN:               Buying things isn’t bringing me happiness anymore.

DOCTOR:             You’re depressed.

CITIZEN:               I’m not depressed. I’m mad.

DOCTOR:             Madness is a form of depression.

CITIZEN:               I just want to live another life.

DOCTOR:             I’m going to proscribe you ProzoCom™.

CITIZEN:               I don’t need drugs.

DOCTOR:             ProzoCom™ is a Wonder of Modern Medicine™.

CITIZEN:               It just makes you feel so empty that you want to buy things. I’ve seen people on it.  Everybody is on it.

DOCTOR:             Six Billion Consumers Can’t Be Wrong™.

CITIZEN:               I just don’t feel like buying things.

DOCTOR:             Anti-consumerism is a pathology of the pleasure principle.

CITIZEN:               I don’t need a drug.

DOCTOR:             ProzoCom™ isn’t Just A Drug. It’s Happiness Through Chemicals™.

CITIZEN:               I know, I know, I wrote that ad campaign.

DOCTOR:             Then you must see The Truth in Advertising®.

CITIZEN:               There is no Truth in Advertising®. It’s all about making you want to buy more things.

DOCTOR:             Buying Brings Happiness™.  The More You Buy, the more Happiness You Buy™.

CITIZEN:               You said that already.  Computer, stop the doctor program.

The light goes down on the Doctor.

COMPUTER (O.S.): You’re account has been billed six hundred and forty-two credits. I am instructed to inform you that this amount will not be reimbursed by the Health Marketing Operator assigned by your company Inc.com.

CITIZEN:               Fine.

COMPUTER (O.S.): I am also instructed to inform you that you have been fined one hundred credits for missing your Buying Session™ without rescheduling.  This amount has been deducted from your account.

CITIZEN:               I don’t want to buy anything.

COMPUTER (O.S.): Buying Brings Happiness™.  The More You Buy, the more Happiness You Buy™.

CITIZEN:               Computer off.

The Citizen sits down as the lights fade.

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