Still busy writing Wizard of Time #2. I haven’t been able to collect my thoughts for a real blog entry, so I’ve decided to post scene #2 from POP! Culture: The Future of America™. As before, the full stage play can be read as a pdf here.
SCENE: Two
SETTING: Typical Citizen Home
The Citizen Enters
CITIZEN: Computer, load the doctor program.
COMPUTER (O.S.): Doctor program running.
CITIZEN: I need to speak to a psychologist.
COMPUTER (O.S.): I am required to inform you that you have already exceeded the one hour a year time limit for psychiatric consultation allowed by the Health Marketing Operator assigned by your company Inc.com.
CITIZEN: I’m aware. Deduct the charges from my account. Just let me speak to the doctor.
COMPUTER (O.S.): Billing will commence immediately, charged by the quarter-minute.
The DOCTOR appears bathed in hot white light.
DOCTOR: How may I help you Consumer?
CITIZEN: I’m feeling… I don’t know.
DOCTOR: Could you clarify that feeling please?
CITIZEN: Lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t fit in.
DOCTOR: How do you not fit in?
CITIZEN: I feel like I don’t belong. Like everyone is living a life that I don’t want to live.
DOCTOR: And how does this make you feel?
CITIZEN: Angry.
DOCTOR: You’re feeling depressed, yes.
CITIZEN: I’m not depressed, I’m angry.
DOCTOR: Depression is common among people who don’t consume enough.
CITIZEN: I’m not depressed.
DOCTOR: What did you buy today?
CITIZEN: I didn’t buy anything today. I skipped my Buying Session™.
DOCTOR: Research has shown that Purchasing Brings Pleasure™.
CITIZEN: I don’t want to buy anything.
DOCTOR: Buying Brings Happiness™. The More You Buy, the more Happiness You Buy™.
CITIZEN: Buying things isn’t bringing me happiness anymore.
DOCTOR: You’re depressed.
CITIZEN: I’m not depressed. I’m mad.
DOCTOR: Madness is a form of depression.
CITIZEN: I just want to live another life.
DOCTOR: I’m going to proscribe you ProzoCom™.
CITIZEN: I don’t need drugs.
DOCTOR: ProzoCom™ is a Wonder of Modern Medicine™.
CITIZEN: It just makes you feel so empty that you want to buy things. I’ve seen people on it. Everybody is on it.
DOCTOR: Six Billion Consumers Can’t Be Wrong™.
CITIZEN: I just don’t feel like buying things.
DOCTOR: Anti-consumerism is a pathology of the pleasure principle.
CITIZEN: I don’t need a drug.
DOCTOR: ProzoCom™ isn’t Just A Drug. It’s Happiness Through Chemicals™.
CITIZEN: I know, I know, I wrote that ad campaign.
DOCTOR: Then you must see The Truth in Advertising®.
CITIZEN: There is no Truth in Advertising®. It’s all about making you want to buy more things.
DOCTOR: Buying Brings Happiness™. The More You Buy, the more Happiness You Buy™.
CITIZEN: You said that already. Computer, stop the doctor program.
The light goes down on the Doctor.
COMPUTER (O.S.): You’re account has been billed six hundred and forty-two credits. I am instructed to inform you that this amount will not be reimbursed by the Health Marketing Operator assigned by your company Inc.com.
CITIZEN: Fine.
COMPUTER (O.S.): I am also instructed to inform you that you have been fined one hundred credits for missing your Buying Session™ without rescheduling. This amount has been deducted from your account.
CITIZEN: I don’t want to buy anything.
COMPUTER (O.S.): Buying Brings Happiness™. The More You Buy, the more Happiness You Buy™.
CITIZEN: Computer off.
The Citizen sits down as the lights fade.
