The writing on The Wizard of Time #2 is going well, but a day full writing depletes my brain of any ability to contemplate a blog post. In keeping with the last few weeks, I’ve decided to post scene 3 & 4 from my stage play POP! Culture: The Future of America™. As before, the full stage play can be read as a pdf here.
SETTING: Typical Citizen Home
The Spouse is sitting comfortably wearing a pair of thin futuristic goggles.
SPOUSE: Buy it. No, wait, not that one, the blue one. Yes. No. Wait, give me two of them. One in blue and one in red. Main screen. Frivolous Items. Things You Never Use. Follow my eyes. There. That one. In Black. Buy it. Computer, how close am I to my daily quota?
COMPUTER (O.S.): You will still need to spend twenty credits to meet your daily quota. I am instructed to inform you that you have exceeded your daily quota only once in the last two weeks. While you cannot be fined, if you do not exceed your daily quota in the next two days, this information will be added to you Permanent Resume.
SPOUSE: Thank you. Main screen.
The Citizen enters.
CITIZEN: I’m leaving.
SPOUSE: Scan down. Yes, that. Stop. Enlarge. Let me see the color variations.
CITIZEN: Are you listening?
SPOUSE: You’re going out. I won’t wait up.
CITIZEN: I’m leaving.
SPOUSE: The middle one. Buy it. Next size up. In white. Buy it.
The Citizen takes the goggles from the Spouse.
CITIZEN: Pay attention.
SPOUSE: What the hell! I’m trying to finish my shopping.
CITIZEN: I’m leaving. I’m through. With you.
CITIZEN: I’ll send for anything I want. I won’t be back.
SPOUSE: You’re kidding?
CITIZEN: I’m leaving now.
SPOUSE: Are you insane?
CITIZEN: No. For the first time I feel like I’m not insane.
SPOUSE: You had to do this with the computer on? You know where this kind of information goes. This will be on my resume by the end of the week!
CITIZEN: I’ve already declared the partnership bankrupt. The processing will be complete by morning.
SPOUSE: How dare you! You know what this does to my prospects for another mate. You know how much the price goes up when you’ve been dumped once. The least you could have done is let me declare bankruptcy on you.
CITIZEN: This isn’t about your resume or your career or your prospects for a genetically superior mate, this is about me.
SPOUSE: Typical. It’s all about selfish little you. I’ll tell you this, I won’t stand for this kind of treatment. When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Buy Something™. And I can buy a bankruptcy just as easily as you can. If I file now it’ll be processed the same day as yours and the two will cancel each other out.
CITIZEN: You don’t get it, do you?
SPOUSE: No, you don’t get it. You don’t get the bankruptcy, I do. My Partner Fee® doesn’t go up, yours does.
CITIZEN: I’m leaving.
The Citizen turns to leave.
SPOUSE: I’m going to file a complaint with the Partnering Bureau. This will haunt your resume I guarantee it.
CITIZEN: All guarantees are void in this state.
The Citizen walks out.
SETTING: Press Conference at Mega Corp. Offices
THE CEO walks up to a lectern and looks out over the press conference.
THE CEO: Ladies and gentlemen, today is a momentous day; A day that will be remembered to the ends of time. It is a day that strikes a blow for efficiency; a day that raises a banner for mercantile livelihood; a day that sings the success of our consumerist society; and day which shouts the rightness of the corporate way of life. Today is a day we can all be proud of. Why? Because, I am here to announce the merger of the two companies that supply the goods we all enjoy so much. As of today, Mega Corp. and Bank of Everything will officially merge their operations. Henceforth they will be known as Mega Bank of Everything. This merger will increase the efficiency and thus the profit margins, not only of these two companies, but of the other three remaining companies as well. General Consumption, Ubiquitous Products and Inc.com all stand to gain from this merger. Now, in addition the great news of this merger, I would like to take this opportunity to announce another first in corporate history. This year, the factories of Mega Bank of Everything will begin closing their overseas plants and creating new factories in all of the industrialized nations. As you know, many years ago corporations made a move to overseas countries because of lower labor costs. Now, thanks to Modern Technology™, our factories will be run almost entirely by robot workers, which will be an extraordinary savings not only in the manufacturing of products, but in their distribution as well. A savings that every shareholder will enjoy the benefits of. You know, when I was a child, growing up on my father’s estate, he often said to me, ”Never take for granted the fact that you were born wealthy. There are a billion people who would trade places with you, and a million who would take your wealth by force. You must always remember that it is a matter of luck or effort. You are either lucky enough to be born into it, or you have to make the effort to acquire it. There is only so much to acquire, and if you don’t take it, those other billion people might.” Those were sage words to a ten year old, and today, I feel lucky, as the CEO of Mega Corp., to have acquired Bank of Everything.
There is much applause.